Holding the home front: Women’s lives in wartime Israel

Across the country, women are sustaining families, communities, and institutions while living with the uncertainty of conflict with Iran, their stories revealing the resilience of the home front.

As Israel enters week two of Operation Roaring Lion, stories from the battlefield often dominate headlines. Yet across the country, another struggle is unfolding more quietly. On the home front, countless women are navigating their own personal battlefield as daily life continues under the shadow of war.

Across Israel, women are sustaining families, communities, and institutions while living with the uncertainty of conflict with Iran. Some made aliyah only recently and are still adjusting to life in the country; others are longtime Israelis balancing work, motherhood, and National Service.

Their stories reveal the resilience of the home front, where strength is often measured not in dramatic moments but in everyday acts of perseverance.

Exam uncertainty as war interrupts crucial study break

For Yocheved, 24, a second-year law student at Bar-Ilan University living in Givat Shmuel, the war has disrupted what should have been the most structured time of the academic year. Yocheved made aliyah from the US a year and a half ago, a relatively short time after Oct. 7, motivated by what she describes as a deep sense of belonging to Israel.

“I came alone,” she says. “My sister lives here, but my parents are still in the US.”

She had just completed the first round of exams in Hebrew when the sirens began, and the next round was canceled as the war escalated. For someone who thrives on routine, the uncertainty has been particularly challenging.

“It can be difficult to focus when you don’t know when exams are coming up next or when classes are going to start,” she explains. “You don’t have a deadline, so it’s hard to really get yourself focused on studying, and the resources aren’t there, either, because all the tutors are in miluim [reserves].”

Reflecting on making aliyah after Oct. 7, she describes wartime Israel as a surreal introduction to the country.

“It sometimes hits you, the difference between life in America and life in Israel,” she says. “There are already culture shocks in normal times, and then you arrive during a war. You start wondering, ‘Is this just life now? Will there always be sirens and war and people dying?’”

When the war with Iran escalated last Shabbat, what would have been a quiet morning turned into hours in the bomb shelter.

“We spent about seven hours there in total,” she recalls. “We were actually in the shelter longer than we were out of it.”

Yet even there, she says, humor helped people cope.

“At the beginning, we were nervous, but we started making jokes. When you make light of it, it helps. It makes it feel less overwhelming.”

Despite the uncertainty, Yocheved remains optimistic. “Nothing is so hard that you can’t joke about it,” she says. “I really believe things will be okay.”

Strength in a sense of community

In Jerusalem’s Har Nof neighborhood, Dalya Fine, a preschool and swim teacher who immigrated from South Africa in 2021, has seen her work largely come to a halt during the war.

“I haven’t really been able to get to work,” she says. “Instead, we’ve been reading stories for the children and recording them for our WhatsApp groups so they can still hear their teachers.”

Like many Israelis, Fine now stays close to home so she can reach the nearest shelter quickly. “I don’t venture very far,” she says. “I’ve gone out only a couple of times, and always with someone. I try to stay close so I can get to the miklat if the siren goes off.”

The constant anticipation has taken a toll on her sleep, as falling asleep has become a mission. “My sleep is completely off,” she says. “I go to bed, but I’m waiting for the siren.”

However, the sense of community around her has helped make the experience more bearable. When alarms sound in her building, neighbors gather in the shelter together. “When we’re in the miklat, we chat,” she says. “It passes the time and takes our minds off things.”

Fine is also part of Maagalot, a women’s organization that helps immigrant single women establish a sense of community in Jerusalem. Even during wartime, the group found ways to mark the recent Purim holiday.

“For megillah reading, I went to someone’s house nearby,” she says. “And for Shushan Purim, we had lunch at a restaurant that had a miklat. It was nice to still celebrate and not be alone.”

Despite the war, she says she feels safer in Israel than anywhere else. “Friends from abroad sometimes tell people to come back,” she says. “But the whole world is facing challenges. Honestly, I feel safer here.”

Living in Jerusalem adds another layer of comfort. “Jerusalem is special,” she says. “It’s a holy city. I feel that even our enemies think twice before striking here.”

Juggling sirens with a husband out at war and a newborn

In Jerusalem’s Baka neighborhood, Ora Weiner Turitz is navigating the war with a newborn in her arms. Her baby is three weeks old. She discovered she was pregnant just days before the previous Iranian escalation and gave birth weeks before the current one began.

Now she balances a newborn and other young children while her husband serves in the reserves.

“My days don’t really start or end,” she says. “They just blend into one another. I’m nursing throughout the night, and then the other kids wake up. Depending on the sirens, we either have a calm morning or not.”

Her husband’s military service has shaped nearly every part of their lives. When she spoke previously in the Knesset about the burden carried by reservist families, she highlighted one challenge few people discuss – simply starting a family.

“I had a very hard time getting pregnant,” she says. “Not because of fertility problems but because my husband just wasn’t physically around.”

Despite the strain, she refuses to complain. “We are very proud,” she says. “We each have our role. He takes up a gun and protects the country, and I hold the home together.”

For now, she focuses on taking life hour by hour. “I don’t want to find myself stuck somewhere with the kids if the siren goes off,” she says.

When her husband recently returned home briefly for Shabbat, the emotional weight of the situation suddenly hit her. “For the first time in two and a half years, I felt really anxious about him going back,” she says. “When he was home [this time], I allowed myself to relax in a way I haven’t in a long time.”

A woman wearing many hats in wartime

Noa Bardogo Pasternak lives in Moshav Bnei Ram in southern Israel but spends most of her week traveling to and from Jerusalem. Between managing the Mediterranean Towers retirement home in the capital, serving in the reserves, and family life, she constantly moves among the different arenas of her life.

“I’m not in reserve duty all the time,” she says. “Most of the week I’m in Jerusalem, balancing work, reserve service, and family.”

Behind her decision to remain active during such a complex period stands a supportive family that understands the importance of contributing during times like these. In fact, every member of her household is involved in the national effort in one way or another.

“My son serves in the Air Force, my daughter is a paramedic, and my husband volunteers with Magen David Adom at night,” she says proudly. “In our home, we never really know who will be the one running to the safe room.”

Her work with elderly residents has also taken on a deeper meaning during this period.

“In emergencies, the work takes on another dimension,” she explains. “It’s very important to us that residents do not feel alone when sirens sound or when tensions rise. We work to provide alternatives and to help maintain a strong sense of community, even during challenging times.”

Amid all these commitments, she is also a grandmother of two. “In the middle of all this, I’m also trying to be a grandmother,” she says with a smile.

According to her, times like these sharpen a sense of purpose. “When you are called to contribute, each in their own way, you realize that what you do has meaning,” she states. “Helping others is how we get through this period together.”

Coping on the home front

For Ayelet Cohen Vider, PhD, clinical psychologist and director of the Mental Health Unit at Meuhedet Health Maintenance Organization’s Misgav Ladach Hospital in Jerusalem, the war is not something she observes from a distance. It is deeply personal.

“I have a son currently in reserve duty, another son who spent more than a year fighting in Gaza, and a daughter-in-law also serving in the reserves,” she says. “The war hits home in a very real way. The worry is constant.”

The first Shabbat after the recent sirens began, she was called in to help transfer patients to a protected wing of the hospital.

“Our patients depend on us to keep them safe,” she explains. “But there is always uncertainty. Every day we need to adjust plans and prepare for new situations.”

To cope, she relies heavily on exercise. When gyms closed during the first days of the war, she felt the impact immediately.

“Sport is essential for my emotional well-being,” she says. “When I cannot train, it’s much harder to stay optimistic.”

Eventually, she found new ways to keep moving, adjusting her running routes to pass bomb shelters along the way.

“Movement helps me manage the stress,” she says. “Without it, the emotional weight becomes much heavier.”

Strategies to help women cope

Drawing from both her professional work with women and her own experience living through years of conflict, she emphasizes that coping with wartime stress requires conscious daily strategies. Women, she says, often carry the emotional and logistical weight of the home front, especially when partners are serving in reserve duty.

“In many families, the husband is in reserves with his unit, surrounded by other soldiers,” she explains. “But the woman is often at home alone with the children, managing the house, the emotions, and the uncertainty.”

One of the most important steps, she says, is learning to listen carefully to the body’s signals.

“Women tend to ignore themselves,” she says. “They say, ‘I’m a mother, I’m a partner, I need to take care of everyone else.’ But you are the foundation of the home. If you collapse, everything collapses.”

Her first piece of advice is to break the day into small, manageable segments rather than thinking too far ahead.

“Don’t think about what will happen on Passover or next month,” she says. “Think about the next two hours. Then the next two hours again. Surviving the day in small steps reduces the feeling of being overwhelmed.”

She also stresses the importance of movement and physical activity, even in small doses.

“When anxiety rises, the body tends to freeze,” she explains. “Movement helps release that tension and tells the brain that you are not currently in immediate danger.”

Even simple actions can help.

“Jump 10 times in place. Put on music and dance with your children. Turn on a 10-minute exercise video on YouTube and do it together. Moving the body changes the emotional state.”

Maintaining basic self-care routines is another critical strategy. Many women, she says, unintentionally neglect themselves during crises.

“I see women who only eat when their children eat, or who skip meals completely,” she says. “But you must care for yourself as well. Proper nutrition and rest help the body regulate stress.”

Equally important is allowing oneself emotional acceptance rather than fighting the anxiety.

“This is what we call radical acceptance,” she explains. “The anxiety you feel is the body’s natural response to an abnormal situation. It is not a failure. It is human.”

Once those emotions are acknowledged, she says, women often begin to regain small amounts of energy and clarity.

Finally, she encourages women to recognize and celebrate small successes throughout the day.

“After two and a half years of war – and even the pandemic before that – many people feel their energy reserves are empty,” she says. “So congratulate yourself for the small things. You got up this morning. You got dressed. You helped your child.”

Her message to women on the home front is both simple and compassionate.

“Find the small things that give you strength,” she advises. “And build from there, step by step.”