Woman’s reaction to husband cheating applauded: ‘Ripped off the Band Aid’

Can couples make a meaningful comeback from cheating?

This was the central question in a post to Reddit‘s “Am I The A******?” forum by u/TrickNothing4949, in which a woman promptly left her husband after finding out he cheated, making her question if she acted too rashly.

Since the post was published, it has received 18,000 upvotes.

“My (25F) husband (30M) has been acting really [strange] recently, staying out late without any explanation, leaving really early and random expensive gifts with no apparent reason,” the original poster (OP) wrote. “I’m not naive and I put two and two together, and realized he was cheating.”

The OP explained that she confronted her husband after he came home and got his confession of cheating.

“He was honest and told me he was [cheating] and apologized—said it meant nothing and it wouldn’t happen again,” she wrote. “Honestly, I cannot trust him, and without trust, a relationship can’t survive, so I went upstairs packed my things.”

The OP’s husband asked her to give him a chance, but she left anyway.

Since then, the OP wrote that she has been “bombarded” with messages and calls from her husband questioning her actions, wondering how she could have left without attempting to resolve things.

“[He said] if I ever loved him, I would want to stay and go through this, and that every couple goes through hard times,” she wrote. “I am really conflicted as…he was my first love, and I haven’t just lost those feelings overnight, but on the other hand, he broke my trust and truthfully, he won’t ever earn that back.”

Redditors overwhelmingly backed the OP.

“Ask him this,” one person wrote. “How could he cheat without ‘even trying to fix things?’ If he ‘ever loved’ you, he wouldn’t have cheated.”

“Good job,” another person wrote. “A lot of people agonize and stay with cheaters and regret it. You ripped off the Band-Aid without hesitation—props to you.”

‘Everyone has different limits’

Seth Eisenberg, president and CEO of the Practical Application of Intimate Relationship Skills (PAIRS) Foundation, spoke to Newsweek about the situation and how there’s never a one-size-fits-all solution to issues of infidelity.

“Relationships are tricky,” he said. “How you react depends on your values, your boundaries and what you need to feel safe and respected. It also depends significantly on the couple’s history with each other before the affair.”

Eisenberg said that a confession of cheating can either be an instant deal-breaker, or an instigating event to dig deep into the underlying factors of the betrayal.

“If trust is completely shattered and you don’t see a way to rebuild it, leaving can be the best choice. It’s about protecting yourself and your emotional health,” he said. “On the other hand, many couples choose to try and work through the betrayal and search further to understand the underlying factors. This involves some really tough conversations, maybe even counseling, and a lot of effort from both sides to rebuild what was broken.”

He said that for couples who are able to stay and work on their issues, their relationship can deepen and become more satisfying as a result. But it’s not for everyone—and the best course of action is letting one’s personal circumstances inform the decision.

“Deciding whether to stay and fight for a relationship or to leave immediately after infidelity is a very personal choice. Both options are valid, depending on what feels right for [the] person,” he said.

“The woman’s choice to leave right away was her way of respecting her own boundaries, and that’s always a powerful and commendable decision if that’s truly what she believes is right for her.”

Newsweek has reached out to u/TrickNothing4949 for comment via Reddit.